'Twas the night before Christmas, not a swamp rat did creep... 

As mother and babe played kazoo in their sleep. 

Now, the sight of the house would make any ogre droop, for it was sickeningly sweet as unicorn poop. 

Yet, who is arriving to help this lost cause, 

The foul, the vile... and handsome, Ogre Claus! - Hey, how's it goin'? 

He looked all around and scratched at his beard, and said... 

This place is worse than I thought. 

Uh, feared! 

So he grabbed up his belly, and screwed up his, and let loose a... 

that transformed the place. With a gleam in his eye, 

his work here was done. 

And then to the babies he gave one by one, a festering bottle of stinky swamp juice. 

And for mommy a kiss and a good Christmas goose. 425 Degrees 20 minutes per pound! 

Then digging a finger inside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose. 

And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight. 

Smelly Christmas to all! And to all a gross night!